Monday, 31 March 2014

Post-Apocalypse 90210

Post-Apocalypse 90210 The 100 is a new CW show that has, on the face of it, an interesting post-apocalyptic concept. The premise of the show is thus: three generations ago there was a massive nuclear war rendering the Earth uninhabitable. Luckily a dozen or so nations had orbital platforms, the occupants of whom all survived. Over the years the various platforms were linked together into one huge station , 'The Ark', on which all the tiresome class structures of Earth that was are reproduced.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ia1Fbg96vL0

It transpires that the life support on The Ark is failing and the occupants need to find out if the Earth is once more able to support human life. To test this they select the eponymous 100 from the station's penal facility and bundle them into an escape pod and send them on their merry way.

Sounds tip top to me. Unfortunately this great concept was turned into a trite pseudo-Lord of the Flies populated by people who wouldn't look out of place on Dawson's Creek or any other 'pretty teen drama is dramatic' type of show.

Which is, to put it mildly, such a let down when the show had such a good concept. Not too dissimilar to Revolution on NBC. Another show with a great post-apocalyptic SF concept let down on execution.

The kids, due to Ark law anyone over 18 committing a crime is put out of an airlock. Which is, as it goes, a reasonably clever way to ensure all the cast are young and pretty. Pretty. That's the bugbear here. All these criminals are in perfect health despite having spent -who knows how long- in a cell. In space.

I really love my SF and lament that, so far as I'm concerned, it is actually really rare on TV. SF for grown ups that is. Don't get me wrong, I love silly stuff like Dr Who, Warehouse 13, and all the other SF/F light that's out there but I really want some SF/F that makes me think, that has interesting and complex plots, and believable characters.

I can only think of a handful of shows that fit this description. Battlestar Galactica, C4's Utopia,.. and that's about it. We get shows that have oodles of promise, like the BBC's ill fated Outcasts, but that are a let down at the end of the day. Outcasts could have been really good too. If only the BBC hadn't attempted to turn it into Eastenders in space.

Guess I should just wait until HBO do an SF show. Come on HBO, give us an SF Game of Thrones or True Detective!

Junji Ito

I recently discovered the manga of Junji Ito. He writes spectacularly weird and horrifying tales that would not be out of place sitting just after a certain HPL on your bookshelves. I first heard of him when Weird Fiction Review reviewed his epic Uzamaki series which centres around a small town infested with spirals. I bought Uzamaki for X, the youngest of the Family Strange, last Christmas as she absolutely loves manga and I absolutely adore weird fiction. So I thought here was something we could both enjoy and that might act as a gateway drug to stranger literary fiction for her. I haven't had the chance to read it yet, university, work, blah, blah(is that the world's smallest violin I hear?) have gotten in the way. X did however really love it and, from her description, it sounds gorgeously grotesque.

Thankfully not all of Ito's work is so long and I have actually managed to find a couple of pieces online.

Thing That Drifted Ashore is a short tale about a sea creature that washes up on a beach and the terror of the unknown deep sea. Click the image below to be taken to part one, I believe that there is a second chapter to the story but I haven't read it yet.

 

[caption id="" align="alignnone" width="611"]Link to full story ^^^CLICK FOR FULL COMIC^^^[/caption]

 

I also found The Enigma of Amigara Fault. Following an earthquake a fault line in the side of a mountain opens up revealing a series of holes shaped like people which exert a weird draw on certain individuals.

[caption id="" align="alignnone" width="608"]Link to full comic ^^^CLICK FOR FULL COMIC^^^[/caption]

 

Enjoy. :)

 

Year's Best Weird Fiction

The Laird Barron edited collection The Year's Best Weird Fiction is available to pre-order over at Chizine(Clicky).

The table of contents was also recently published on Barron's blog.

“Success” by Michael Blumlein, The Magazine of Fantasy & Science Fiction, Nov./Dec.

“Like Feather, Like Bone” by Kristi DeMeester, Shimmer #17

“A Terror” by Jeffrey Ford, Tor.com, July.

“The Key to Your Heart Is Made of Brass” by John R. Fultz, Fungi #21

“A Cavern of Redbrick” by Richard Gavin, Shadows & Tall Trees #5


“The Krakatoan” by Maria Dahvana Headley, Nightmare Magazine/The Lowest Heaven, July.

“Bor Urus” by John Langan, Shadow’s Edge

“Furnace” by Livia Llewellyn, The Grimscribe’s Puppets

“Eyes Exchange Bank” by Scott Nicolay, The Grimscribe’s Puppets

“A Quest of Dream” by W.H. Pugmire, Bohemians of Sesqua Valley

“(he) Dreams of Lovecraftian Horror” by Joseph S. Pulver Sr., Lovecraft eZine #28

“Dr. Blood and the Ultra Fabulous Glitter Squadron” by A.C. Wise, Ideomancer Vol. 12 Issue 2

“The Year of the Rat” by Chen Quifan, The Magazine of Fantasy & Science Fiction, July/August.

“Fox into Lady” by Anne-Sylvie Salzman, Darkscapes

“Olimpia’s Ghost” by Sofia Samatar, Phantom Drift #3

“The Nineteenth Step” by Simon Strantzas, Shadows Edge

“The Girl in the Blue Coat” by Anna Taborska, Exotic Gothic 5 Vol. 1

“In Limbo” by Jeffrey Thomas, Worship the Night

“Moonstruck” by Karin Tidbeck, Shadows & Tall Trees #5

“Swim Wants to Know If It’s as Bad as Swim Thinks” by Paul Tremblay, Bourbon Penn #8

“No Breather in the World But Thee” by Jeff VanderMeer, Nightmare Magazine, March.

“Shall I Whisper to You of Moonlight, of Sorrow, of Pieces of Us?” by Damien Angelica Walters, Shock Totem #7.

I can't wait to get this through the letter box. :)

Sunday, 30 March 2014

Five Random Words

Chuck Wendig has another flash fiction challenge on his blog. This week he gave a list of 10 words and asked folk to pick 5 and then write a story containing those words. I picked. Hermit, Hound, Orphan, Casket, and Foxgloves. Unfortunately my story looks like it's going to go tearing over the 1,000 word limit imposed. Not that this matters I I am really liking what I'm writing and think that I may actually submit the finished story somewhere. :)

Friday, 28 March 2014

Oh FFS

I just spent today writing a 4,000 word essay on the causes of the Late Bronze Age collapse and making comparisons with the situation in which we find ourselves. Pretty grim stuff to tell the truth(I'll post it on here once it's marked if you ask nicely) and I feel pretty frazzled after a mad 12 hour stint at the keyboard. I was quite chuffed to be able to use an unpublished report that analyses the propensity for social collapse in various types of society, unequal, equal, and egalitarian, and thought that that made grim enough reading. I was careful to err on the side of caution and didn't slip into typing WE'RE FUCKED over and over again in FULLCAPS. Then I saw this and realised I probably should have FULLCAPS'd the whole essay.

See, I was involved in the late 90s/early 00s environmental protest movement here in the UK and after the best part of a decade I just sort of gave up, realising that without massive social change there was little hope of averting catastrophe. It really sucks to be proven right sometimes. :(

Makes books like this make a hell of a lot of sense now...

[scribd id=215130629 key=key-1kd8qq0ytc1qtaehvy09 mode=scroll]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z0GFRcFm-aY

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZF7i2n5NXLo

 

On Writing Weird Fiction - HP Lovecraft

[archiveorg-book H.p.LovecraftOnWritingWeirdFiction/2012-Writing-Weird-Fiction width=480 height=430]
OK, so this is mostly a test to see how this works with embedding an ebook in a blog post. Either way this is a cracking read if you're interested in writing weird fiction. :)

Whilst I was faffing about on the Internet Archive I also came across this video(which I don't seem to be able to figure out how to embed on here, for shame). A talk by a John Bowden on the old racist from Providence.

https://archive.org/details/JonathanBowdenH.P.Lovecraft

Enjoy. :)

Yes, yes, yes, yes...

...yes, yes, yes, yes, please!!!!

The first trailer to the Wachowski sibling's Jupiter Ascending looked pretty damn gorgeous. The new trailer places it squarely in the tradition of old school fantastical/weird SF space opera. Want.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fOvITFK98gg

I do have to try and curb my enthusiasm somewhat. Especially after the massive let down that was the shockingly moronic Prometheus which also had a fantastic trailer but which was an insanely bad movie. Well, it was insanely bad compared to how good I imagined it was going to be given the trailer and the cast and crew.

The Wachowski's do have a somewhat spotted history when it comes to film making. So here's hoping that this is more Cloud Atlas and less Matrix Revolutions.

 

Devil in the Room

[vimeo http://vimeo.com/68638523]

The Sleep Paralysis Project have released this, utterly terrifying, short film(which they refer to as a 'docu-horror) on the topic of, surprisingly enough, sleep paralysis. I don't personally recall ever having experienced this sensation and, after watching this film, I am so glad that I don't. More information, on the film and the phenomenon, can be found on the project website.

 

Thursday, 27 March 2014

If only...

I do love my Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal. :)

[caption id="179" align="alignnone" width="138"]smbc Click for a larger version.[/caption]

Ideas, Ideas, Everywhere...

...but bugger all time to write.

I'm ever so slightly snowed under with work for university right now, says he who is procrastinating on Wordpress, but I am inundated with a steady stream of ideas for tales. Meaning that I've no sooner started showing due diligence towards my dissertations than I have a thought pop into my head and I have to open Google Keep to jot it down lest it be lost to the vagaries of my addled memory. Hopefully when my final dissertation is submitted, 10 days and(terrifyingly) counting, I should have a wealth of material to write from.

One interesting thing that I have noticed about the many, many, ideas that I have jotted down over the last month or so is that the vast majority of them end with the words 'hijinks ensue'. I basically have a fully formed story idea right up to the point that the narrative diverges into the fantastic and absolutely no idea what comes next. It will certainly be fun finding out exactly what I'm going to subject my poor, poor characters to when I have the time.

Tuesday, 25 March 2014

I Write Like...

I just posted Somnambupunk the piece of flash I did for Chuck Wendig's challenge last week into this funny little tool and apparently I write like...




I write like
J. D. Salinger

I Write Like. Analyze your writing!






That made me chuckle so I put in Ten Little Chapters and apparently I write like...




I write like
Mario Puzo

I Write Like. Analyze your writing!






Then I put in the wee piece of King in Yelow flash I wrote, Balcony, and I write like...



Sunday, 23 March 2014

The Statement of Randolph Carter

Oooh, I just heard about a new podcast dedicated to weird and macabre fiction. Glee! Macabre Fantasy Radio will be presenting classic works of weird fiction in the style of early Twentieth Century radio plays. Their first instalment, Lovecraft's The Statement of Randolph Carter, was recorded live at the HP Lovecraft Film Festival in 2012. It is well worth a listen.

The Statement of Randolph Carter: [audio http://macabrefantasydotcom.files.wordpress.com/2012/10/mfrt-e1-tsorc-hplffla20121.mp3 ]

Their second episode, Lovecraft's The Temple, was performed at last years HPL Film Festival and went live on their blog a couple of days ago. Go check it out.

On the subject of Randolph Carter, one of my favourite of HPL's stories, Mr Jim Moon did a special episode for the 100th instalment of his show Hypnobobs which featured a reading of the story and an extemely in depth, and very long, investigation into the story and its locale. All three parts of the 100th episode can be played below. More, many, many more, episodes can be found at Mr Moon's Hypnogoria website. Enjoy. :)

Part One: [audio http://hosting.geekplanetonline.com/originals/hypnobobsmedia/2012-10-29_hypnobobs_100_part_1.mp3 ]

Part Two: [audio http://hosting.geekplanetonline.com/originals/hypnobobsmedia/2012-11-02_hypnobobs_100_part_2.mp3 ]

Part Three: [audio http://hosting.geekplanetonline.com/originals/hypnobobsmedia/2012-11-04_hypnobobs_100_part_3.mp3 ]

When Life Imitates Dystopian Fiction

Prisoners are no longer allowed to be sent books in the UK. There is absolutely no reason for these new rules, brought in recently by the Justice Secretary Chris Grayling(the gilt clad ponce pictured below), that I can conceive of. Normally when the government passes such rules aimed at attacking parts of society they try and dress it up with claims of cutting costs or protecting vulnerable parts of society. In this case it is pure vindictiveness.



[caption id="" align="alignright" width="600"] Violent crime is but a fraction of the total crime statistics.[/caption]

The whole notion of punishment for crimes is both flawed and barbaric. If we want to live in a civilised society, and I most certainly do, then we need to focus on creating the social conditions that prevent crime. Punishing a person who has committed a crime, and remember - most crimes are economically motivated and violent crime is in the minority, makes absolutely no sense unless you think that vengeance should be the motivating factor of a justice system. I, personally, think that the concept of vengeance is barbaric and serves absolutely no positive social function. It appeals to our most base selves and pandering to it turns us into little more than plebs baying for blood in the arena(e.g. see this brilliant piece of satire on the paedophile frenzy that swept the UK in the early 00s).

We need to find a way to move our society in a more egalitarian direction. To move towards a society where all have equal access to the benefits of an advanced technological society. As well as making society a more pleasant place to live this may actually help fend off the wholesale collapse of our civilisation. As much as I love a good post apocalyptic dystopia, and let's be honest - who doesn't? I would rather that such scenarios remain purely fictional. The Conservative Party, on the other hand, seem intent on modelling society on some fucked up Steampunk nightmare. As if they read The Diamond Age and thought that sounded "just spiffy old bean".

Whilst the banning of books being sent into prisoners may not seem like an important issue, sympathy for the incarcerated is not something that is widely encouraged in our society, it is, I feel, illustrative of a general regression in our society. A back slide into the barbarism of the 19th Century and the Victorian and Edwardian ages. Grayling and his ilk seem intent upon dragging us back to the days of work houses and debtors prisons. A Victoriana for the 21st Century with prisoners forced to labour for a pittance so that they can afford supposed luxuries like books or clean clothes(prisoners are also now barred from receiving items of clothing from the outside meaning that in women's prisons some are forced to wear the same underwear for the duration of their incarceration).

For most of the last fifty years or so the prison system has been touted as having a focus on 'reforming' those within its walls. On education and training to allow prisoners, upon release, to enter back into 'civil' society. This ban on books being sent in shows that this pretence is being let slip and the viciousness of the powers that be is revealed. They don't seek to improve society, they seek only a captive labour force that can be exploited in order that someone may turn a profit.

I do believe that this viciousness is quite particular to the Conservative Party. I don't doubt, not for a second, that either the Liberal Democrats or the Labour Party would be doing anything differently when it comes to the outright attacks upon the fabric of society that the Conservatives are engaging in. They would just have the common decency to not guffaw and jeer at us whilst they were kicking us from pillar to post. That is the main difference between the parties. Not their economic or social policies but the level of glee they display at the effects of their actions upon the people of this island. As a wag once put it: "The only difference between Labour and the Tories is that Labour will give you a cuddle after they've fucked you".

Rant over.

Saturday, 22 March 2014

Watch This

In full screen.

With the curtains drawn.

And the lights out.

[vimeo http://vimeo.com/82920243]

Friday, 21 March 2014

Ten Little Chapters

Trying Mr Wendig's flash fiction challenge again. This time the challenge is to write a story in ten chapters and in a thousand words or less. Challenge accepted.

#1


Herbert Collins was dead. Of that there was little doubt. His death had been extremely public. Herbert Collins had been consumed by dark flames in the stands at the 3:30 Liverpool vs. Chelsea non league friendly match on a bright and Saturday afternoon in July. Strangely none of the people in the stands around him were injured by his incineration.

They were, no doubt, extremely traumatised by the event.

Something that was clear to Inspector Harrison as he questioned them one after another in the interview room at Gallashiels Road Police Station.

#2


On the moors, high above Sheffield, Mandy and her friend Ashley stood over the corpse of Michael. Michael had been, until just recently, Ashley's boyfriend. Had been until he had tried to cop a feel of Mandy at Tommy Pratchett's birthday party last week.

Having lured him to the moor that afternoon they planned on giving him a bit of a scare with some cod Latin and Mandy's uncles book of black magic spells he had from back in the 70s. They didn't think for a moment that it would bloody well work!

#3


Sleeping.


I am always sleeping.


Until you call.


#4


Inspector Harrison looked down upon the charred remains of Herbert Collins laid out on a metal slab in the morgue at St Anne's.

“What caused it then Charlie?”

The coroner adjusted his spectacles.

“Well. Cause of death is, rather obviously, um... well. I'm still not a hundred percent certain... but I think that it's probably safe to say that he burned to death."

“You don't say? Any idea what started it? Fuel on his clothes? Spontaneous bloody human combustion?”

“Sorry Ian. We'll know more by the morning I'm sure.”

“This has to be the strangest bloody thing I've seen since...”

“Let's not dwell on the past eh Ian? I'll call you as soon as I know anything more.”

#5


“Jesus fucking Christ, Mandy, what the fuck just happened?”

Both girls were covered in blood and parts of Michael that had, until moments ago, been inside Michael rather than outside.

“How the fuck am I supposed to know! It was that fucking book! I'm going to kill Uncle Terry, he said it was just bullshit. Like one of those nerdy games your brother plays!”

“Did you see it?”

“What?”

“The thing. The thing that did that!” Ashley pointed at the viscera that had been Michael.

“The thing. Yes. I saw it.”

She wiped blood from her mouth and, realising it was coming from her nose, passed out.

#6


The sins of the father


The sins of the son


Father is son


Son is father


#7


“You aren't going to like this inspector.”

Harrison sighed and placed his face in his hands, elbows resting on his paper cluttered desk.

“What is it Simms?”

“Turns out that your human torch only had one relative. A boy, Michael. Seems he was missing for a few days until they found him this morning.”

“They did find him then?”

“Well, what was left of him sir. It sounds like there wasn't much left to find. They've taken two girls into custody over in Sheffield. Said that you were welcome to come over and question them.”

“And why would I want to do that then?”

“Well, they said that there may well not be a link but that they have, and I quote, 'a bloody strange one' and they figured seeing as you had 'a bloody strange one' involving the father it couldn't hurt to compare notes.”

#8


The girls sat together in the smoking yard of the custody suite at Pittston Police Station. Harrison approached them pulling a twenty pack of king size Regal from his jacket pocket. He offered it to the girls who both took one despite having lit cigarettes in their hands.

“You know, they banned smoking in these places years ago.” He put the flame of his lighter to the cigarette in his mouth. “I guess they're making special dispensation for you two, on account of what you saw. Lucky for me.”

Ashley tapped the ash of her cigarette onto the floor.

“Yeah. Fucking lucky.”

“So. What did you see?”

#9


All the things you hate


All your anger


I am all


#10


Ashley took a draw of her cigarette.

“We only meant to scare him like.”

“Michael?”

“No, fucking Marilyn Manson, who do you think?”

“Sorry. I just have to be clear. It was just the three of you up on the moor then?”

“Yes. We had this old book. Mandy got it from her uncle. Ow!”

Mandy had thumped her on the knee.

“I never thought it would work! My uncle said it was just some bullshit book he had had for years.” Mandy looked close to crying. Both their eyes were red from tears and probably from lack of sleep too.

“That's ok. I don't think either of you are in trouble. We don't think either of you could have done what happened to Michael.

We just need to understand what happened.

You do know that Michael's father died yesterday too and that I'm investigating this over in Liverpool?”

“That detective from here said. Cunt.” Ashley spat on the floor.

“The detective?”

“No. Bert. Michael's father.”

“Did they get on?”

“No. But. That's the thing.” Ashley started crying and looked away from the Inspector.

“It's alright.” Mandy put her arm round her friend.

“It's not fucking alright!” She stood screaming in her friends face “You fucking saw it as well. That fucking thing! You saw what it was. Fucking WHO it was!” Ashley was backing away from them towards the centre of the smoking yard.

“Who was it Ashley? Just tell me and we can go and get them. Make sure that they can never do this again.” He stepped towards her.

“When we said the words. Those stupid sounding fucking words. Michael just started shaking. And then this shape... Out of nowhere... started ripping him apart. It was his fucking father!”

#


1000 words on the nose. :)

Blackbird Lugosi

When the Family Strange moved to this wee rural idyll in south west Scotland we were very pleased that our neighbours turned out to be a lovely retired couple, having had altercations with somewhat intolerant knuckle dragging neighbours at our previous home, who brought us round flowers and a welcome card when we moved in. Seriously, where does that happen? We were however somewhat concerned at their love of birds. Especially for one bird in particular. A blackbird that they described as tame and which would often sit upon a tree stump in our garden or upon the fence between our garden and theirs. You see we have a cat. We were only somewhat concerned as she had never really been that much of a killer when we lived in a more urban locale. Exposure to the great outdoors however seemed to wreak a terrible change upon her personality and she quickly became a vicious, savage, psychotic murderer of wildlife.

We had barely been in the new house for two days when the mutilated corpses of birds and voles began appearing on our back step. Often completely dismembered and, horrifyingly, there would occasionally only remain the face of some poor creature. It is not a pleasant experience to open the kitchen door to have a morning cigarette and discover the face of a small rodent ritually deposited, as if in supplication, upon the step. Especially if one has a hangover.

We did all that we could to mitigate the murderous rampages of our once placid feline companion. We tried to keep her in at dawn and dusk when the local birds would be most likely to be feeding on the ground. We put a collar with a bell on her for the first time. These measures have served to reduce her body count quite considerably I am pleased to say. Only last week I mentioned it to a house guest that I was pleased at how we had been able to to alleviate the effect of her predations upon the local wildlife. The favoured blackbird was, as I spoke, sat upon the tree stump and so I pointed it out commenting that I was surprised that the bird had survived so long with the ever present threat of our vicious, yet furry, killer.

Imagine then my horror when I opened the door on Wednesday morning to see black tail feathers jutting through the verdant blades of our lawn below the washing line. Upon investigation I discovered that it was, indeed, the favoured blackbird. The poor beast had had its neck broken and been left lying there. The furry little monster hadn't even begun to eat it. It had simply been murdered and its body left lying there as if to mock the sentimentality of our neighbours. I hate that cat. Hurriedly I disposed of the corpse and prayed to any myth which may have cared to listen that the sweet old couple next door had not seen the cat's attempt to torment them.

After informing the rest of the Family Strange what had happened, the little one found it horrifyingly amusing which furthers my suspicion that she is turning into Wednesday Addams, we agreed that it was probably best not to mention it to the neighbours and to just hope that they assumed it had either moved on elsewhere or had met its end naturally.

Imagine my surprise then, dear reader, when I went for a cigarette this morning only to find the favoured blackbird sat upon the garden fence eyeing me suspiciously.

I kid you not. It had returned from the dead and was mocking me. I assume that it considers me to be somehow in charge of its executioner yet nothing could be further from the truth. I dread to think what terrible vengeance it plots against me and mine for the actions of that unholy hunting fiend which makes its home in ours. Fear for us readers, fear for us.

Blackbird Lugosi's dead. Undead. Undead. Undead. (to be sung in time with the below song)


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OKRJfIPiJGY

mildge



Any suggestion that it was in fact another blackbird entirely which suffered the attentions of the cat, and that I did not examine the corpse sufficiently so as to establish its identity, will be met with the derision they deserve.

Wednesday, 19 March 2014

MR James Ghost Writer

http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x1e3kna_mr-james-ghost-writer_school

Looks like tonight will be an evening of documentaries. MR James followed by a wee bit of Arthur Machen. I don't mind if I do thank you very much. :)

Out of Mind: The Stories of HP Lovecraft

Thank's to Mike over at the Lovecraft Ezine for sharing this odd wee cinematic take on the works of HPL.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gZUFUqvkHiI

Tuesday, 18 March 2014

Somnambupunk

Chuck Wendig does a weekly flash fiction challenge. This week it's writing a piece of flash in the genre of "Somethingpunk". I went for Somnambupunk. Yeah, I know that it isn't linguistically correct but I liked the idea of rebelling against sleep and dreams.

Somnambupunk


drink_crime


Don’t you think you’ve had enough?” the barman asked.

I fixed him with a Deadwood glare and he reached for a pint pot apologising.

Deadwood. That’s me. Edward “Deadwood” Wood. The Deadwood comes from my younger punk rock days when we all had ridiculous monikers like “Crow” or “Yeti” or “Brew”.

Pal, I've had enough when I can't get the glass to my mouth no more.”

I grinned.

I'm not sure what unsettled him the most. The glare or the grin. My dental health leaves a fair bit to be desired to tell you the truth but hey ho, that's the price for a life of decadence on a shoe string budget.

Sorry mate. It's just it's not often that we see people drinking as much as this on a week night.”

He put the pint on the bar in front of me

Especially not since... well... you know. Since them.”

He was right. Ever since the creatures that run our world had made contact with the creatures that live in the places we go when we dream you didn't see much in the way of excess on a weekday.

Yeah well”, I took a swallow, “some bastard gets me working for them from nine to five and has to pay me for it. Be fucked if I'm working for some bastard when I'm asleep and some bastard else is getting all the benefit of my graft.”

Aye, I get what you're saying, but it's not as if you notice doing the work while you're asleep is it?”

That's not the point though pal.”

Swallow.

It's the principle.”

Swallow.

Shit, that sounds like a load of crap. It's the fact that we have a shite state of affairs where we get fuck all for ding the work that some other cunt gets the benefit off of. We get our free time where we're too knackered to do fuck all aside from watch the telly and spend the fuck all we earn on shite giving our fuck all right back to them. Then the bastards go and figure out a way of making on us whilst we're fucking asleep!”

I put my empty pint glass back on the bar slightly more forcibly than I had intended.

Sorry mate. Don't want to come off all of a ranter but this shit does really wind me up. Another pint please barkeep.”

I grinned again.

No hard feelings eh? And whilst you're at it I'll take a vodka too. Why the hell not, eh?”

I suppose it's not like they can fine you or nick you or anything for not doing the sleep work. But how can you cope with working when you're this pissed the night before?” He put the vodka in front of me and started pulling my pint.

Well, you see, I'm in the rather enviable position of having paid, yet totally ungainful, employment in a role that a trained monkey would get bored of within a day.”

I knocked the clear liquid back in one.

Not that I think a trained monkey could, or should, do my job. I would like to think that such a noble creature would have more self respect than to waste their, no doubt valuable, time on such an endeavour.”

He laughed at this.

Your job sounds like mine.” Now was his turn to grin.

Ah, but at least your job fulfils a social purpose. You keep the liquor that oils the cogs of society flowing.”

You wouldn't say that if you were in here on the weekends.”

Yeah, well I get my time off from somnambulabour seven days a week, 365 days a year mate. Everyone else deserves a night or two off at least don't you think?”

Somnambu what?”

Somnambulabour. That's what I call it. Working whilst you're asleep. I'm pretty sure we used to joke about that when I was younger. That the fckers would have us work in our sleep if they could.”

Swallow.

Never thought it would be anything but a joke.”

Swallow.

You know, when it first came out that they had been drugging the drinking water to make sure we all slept just the right kind of sleep so as to make us better workers on the other side. I really thought that things would kick off. Proper kick off, you know what I mean?”

Swallow.

But no. Fuckers on the other side tweak us in our sleep so we're more docile. More compliant.”

Swallow.

I'm just glad I was already a raging alcoholic when all this started.”

Swallow.

Anyway. I have to be on my merry way. I shall stumble home to blissful, dreamless, sleep. Have a good night my friend.”

I wove my way to the door and the chill night.

Sleep well, and don't work too hard...”

Sunday, 9 March 2014

The King in Springfield

Just saw this post on Twitter from a day or two ago and had to share. :)

No need to watch tonight's episode now.

Thursday, 6 March 2014

Final Hurrah

This next 6-8 weeks are my final hurrah at university so my posting here is liable to be even more sporadic than it has been so far. I have a dissertation and a half to write over the next five weeks. One is 12-15000 words on psychogeography and archaeology and the other, the half, is 4000 words on the Late Bronze Age crisis and collapse. Following that I have three exams and that's me done. Four, well five if you count my year out, years of fannying about at university as a mature student trying to avoid the utter clusterfuck that is the global economy.

Clusterfuck. I like that word.

So I thought, as I'm going to be more absent than usual, I would leave some of music here. Some of the songs that I'll be using to try and retain what is left of my sanity following the next couple of months academ-a-thon.

Hope you enjoy.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VcW494uaL-4

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A6j7mUxGz20

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q-08wmIm440

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HgI6CMdlHM0

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CnnGYaqjW-A

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p6cw1bAHLbM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jhYQIGta0yw

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xiX_IIWvS3c